Your Child Passed the 11+! Here's How to Help Them Thrive at Grammar School
- S McConkey MA(ed) Bed (Hons)
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
Congratulations! Your child has earned their place at grammar school, and you should both be

incredibly proud. All those early morning practice papers, the patience during homework sessions, and your child's determination have paid off beautifully. This is a moment to celebrate as a family.
Now that the excitement has settled, you might be wondering what comes next. The good news? You've already shown you can support your child brilliantly through the 11+ journey, and that same warmth and encouragement will help them flourish in their new school. Let's look at some positive, practical ways to make this transition as smooth and enjoyable as possible.
Having Relaxed Chats About What's Ahead at Grammar School
Your child is heading into an exciting new chapter, and it's natural for them to have a mix of feelings about it. The best thing you can do is keep conversations light, positive, and open. Chat about the things they're looking forward to - new friends, interesting subjects, perhaps joining clubs they've been excited about.
When they mention feeling a bit nervous, reassure them that this is completely normal and shows they care about doing well. Share your own stories of starting something new and how it worked out. Let them know that everyone takes a few weeks to find their feet, and that's fine. Your calm confidence in them will become their calm confidence in themselves.
Enjoying a Well-Deserved Summer (With Just a Sprinkle of Learning)
Your child has worked incredibly hard and deserves a proper summer break filled with fun, relaxation, and doing things they love. This isn't the time for intensive study or pressure.
That said, keeping their brain gently ticking over can help them feel more confident come September. Think of it as staying match-fit rather than training for a competition. A bit of reading for pleasure, the occasional puzzle or brain teaser, or chatting about interesting articles you've come across together all work wonderfully.
The key is keeping it enjoyable and low-pressure. If they're reading books they love or solving problems that feel like games, they're learning without it feeling like work.
Gentle Ways to Keep Skills Sharp
Your child has already proven they're brilliant at English and maths. Now it's just about maintaining that sparkle over the summer in ways that feel natural and fun.
For English, simply being a family that reads and talks about stories does wonders. Discuss the books they're enjoying, ask them what they think characters might do next, or share interesting articles you've read. Encourage them to write for fun - whether that's stories, a summer journal, or even reviews of films they've watched.
For maths, look for opportunities in everyday life. Cooking together involves fractions and measurements, planning days out might involve budgets and distances, and board games often include strategic thinking. When it feels relevant, you can also try short, fun challenges together - perhaps a puzzle a day or exploring interesting maths websites.
If you notice they're feeling a bit wobbly in certain areas, don't worry. A little extra support from a tutor over the summer can work wonders for their confidence, and there's no pressure involved.
Encouraging Independence (You're Still Their Biggest Supporter!)
Grammar schools will expect more independence from students, but this is something you can help your child develop gradually and positively over the summer.
Think of it as giving them new "grown-up" responsibilities that show you trust them. Perhaps they could start managing their own alarm clock, organizing their activities for the week, or taking charge of packing for family outings. Celebrate when they remember things independently and gently remind them when they forget - it's all part of learning.
You're not stepping back as a parent; you're stepping up as a coach, cheering from the sidelines whilst they develop skills that will serve them throughout life. They'll still need your support, just in slightly different ways.
Getting Extra Help When It's Useful
Starting grammar school can feel like quite a jump, and many families find that a bit of extra tutoring during the first term helps smooth the path. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this - in fact, it might be a way to ensure your child feels confident and keeps up with the pace.
Extra help can be tailored exactly to your child's needs. It's not about intensive pressure; it's about having someone in their corner helping them adjust to new expectations whilst building their confidence and study skills. You, as their parent, may well be able to offer this additional help.
Keeping Them Happy and Confident
Your child's wellbeing is just as important as their academic preparation - actually, it's the foundation of everything else. A happy, confident child learns better and enjoys school more.
Keep your home a warm, relaxed place where they feel safe to share both excitement and worries. Ask about their day, really listen to their answers, and show interest in what matters to them. Celebrate effort and improvement rather than focusing solely on results and remind them regularly that you're proud of who they are, not just what they achieve.
If they seem anxious, help them put things in perspective. Remind them of other times they've faced something new and succeeded. Let them know that making mistakes is how we all learn, and that their new teachers will be there to help them.
Making the New School Feel Familiar and Friendly
One of the best ways to reduce those first-day butterflies is to make the school feel familiar before term even starts. Turn this into a positive adventure you do together.
Here are some enjoyable ways to prepare:
Attend all the transition events and open evenings - treat them as exciting previews rather than obligations. Your child might meet future classmates or favourite teachers.
Make the school journey a fun practice run. Perhaps try it at the actual time they'll travel, then grab a treat afterwards. Do this a few times so it feels completely natural.
Look at the timetable together and talk about what subjects they're most excited about. Help them imagine their typical day in a positive way.
If possible, visit the school grounds during the summer. Walk around together, find where things are, and help them picture themselves there feeling happy and confident.
The more familiar everything feels, the more your child can focus on the exciting parts - making friends, learning fascinating things, and enjoying their achievement.
Looking Forward Together
This transition to grammar school is a wonderful opportunity for your child to grow, learn, and discover new interests and abilities. Yes, there will be adjustments, but you've already proven as a family that you can work through challenges together.
Your continued love, encouragement, and belief in your child will be their greatest asset as they start this new chapter. Trust in the abilities that got them here, celebrate the journey you're on together, and remember that every child settles at their own pace.
You've got this, and more importantly, they've got you. That's a recipe for success.
Here's to a brilliant start at grammar school!




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